About Me

My photo
here to share some parts of my life...some parts of me and my ne'er say die attitude..!!!! i love my life..my family and myself..

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

U MADE ME LIVE AGAIN..



On the verge of my end...
i found you there holding me tight...i found u there
Restoring me to life...making me live once again...
making me love like never before...!!

I never thought it would be you... after all we have always been opposite poles over the years..
i never dreamt of you being the most special person in my life....i never ever did imagine that i will love u like anything....

Starting from the beginning...
u became less annoying!

The discussions about the school alumni association formation and reunion just began on fb. U weren’t there in my friend list then...but through friends I came to know about your group on fb...
visiting it and seeing the posts, for the first tym i felt lyk u wr toking sense and I should join in...
And all of us met..on your rooftop...for a meeting...and I felt lyk u r no more dat bad to speak to..I added u on fb...
we started speaking..all official and sensible stuffs...our first letter was approved by school and consecutive meetings were held...i started conversing more with you with the passing tym..you became much less annoying...in fact you became charming gradually..
It was end of June and all of us met at SAINIK...for the first time I noticed you...we clicked pictures...with your new phone....
you edited one of my pics that night... i did love the editing...and yep i finally started feeling u were sweet...
things were going fine...the involvements in alumni work, the friends' get-togethers, flirting with you helped my mind to keep away from the pains i was bearing through months.
For atleast some hours I didn’t use to feel miserable...for some moments i could avoid those irritating phone calls, those heartbreaks and loneliness which turned me reckless and careless..
* * * * *

The nicco park outing...
we kissed each other...!

all of us had a great time out there (especially me) at nicco park..u were looking hot with your goggles on at wetowild...
After a long time i was enjoying..nd i went mad...
but the best part was
when i had to rush..
and u didn’t call me to ask if i reached safely..i was actually angry..and later on we found we were actually expecting calls from each other..

 after dat day I started liking you more..we started talking more...
time flew...the attraction towards you grew stronger..!
And i kissed you....at one of our alumni meetings...stealing a few lonely moments from others..
I must say it was so seductive...i started having butterflies inside...those few seconds were glorious...

******


The most dangerous phase of my life...
and I finally love you...!
It was the midnight of 6th august 2013. Anurina called me up to open the college site and I saw the most shocking thing of my life. I felt helpless... I felt broken...it was my end...it was not supposed to happen...I wasn’t supposed to face that...
the world around me stopped...the flashbacks of the past six months kept on revolving around my eyes...’the business, the miserable nights soaked in tears, the bunked classes, the insults everything..’
it was just a day before my 20th birthday..and i decided that I wont survive to see the next day...
it was morning then...I decided to move out and die...but before that I wanted someone to know it
and the last dialled number showed your name...without giving it a second thought I called you up to meet me..
That day without any hesitation or even a hitch I shared all my life’s biggest secrets sorrows with you( I still don’t know how )...
 
it wasn’t a lonely place...We weren’t alone...But to me it seemed as if you were only dere to listen to me in this world and I kept on speaking..
And u lent an ear to everything I had to speak... in those 60 minutes you made me believe that things can be started again...there is much left to live...

and from then till now I got you beside me every time I was in need...
for the first time in life somebody cared...for the first time i was more than just an useful thing for somebody...for the first time I didn’t feel lonely...For the first time i saw someone seeing it with my point of view rather than just blaming me...
And then u kissed me again... I still remember 15th august 2013...u did it so passionately...u made me crazy about you...you took me back to LIFE... it wasn’t just a kiss... it had that amazing power blowing life into a corpse...
for the first time in life someone’s touch didn’t make me hate my body...it made me love my body...
every time you touch something positive flows in...u made me laugh ..u made me giggle..u made me avoid my miserable past...showed me a brighter side of life...
and I fell for you...
Finally i was sure that I LOVE YOU...

You are the one in my life now
in fact U are my LIFE now
I cherish all our moments together...the meetings...the kisses...the way you stare...the way you care...I feel important...I enjoy it...

and now m afraid to lose you...the past few days made me feel u are parting ways with me....

Please don’t do that...you made a dead girl live again....please don’t leave her dying again...she LOVES you and no one else...U are her strength...
she is no more reckless...she is no more careless...she is changed...she is alive...

She knows that you don’t love her but how can she stop loving you...she has to stop living then...
she knows she can’t force you to love her neither can she force herself to stop loving you...
she knows she annoys you...she becomes demanding..And she has no right to do it...but she can’t help it...
may be u r not her but she is yours...with no-one else in her life (if you feel that she still feels for someone else).
All she wants is you to stay with her.
but at the end of it..its your choice to stay or walk away...cuz all she wants is to see you happy...


WITH LOVE,
shri


No comments:

Post a Comment